Build together
Love like a lego, strong and stable.
Dear rich minds,
In the Jubilant July, we dived into the sea of love - learning to love yourself first, date as you play, and choose a partner to dance with. In the last chapter, let’s unlock the secret to building a long-lasting partnership.
What is a good partnership? To solve the puzzles, I visited the biggest library in the world - the human library. I talked to people from all walks of life - married for 20 years, partnered but not married, newly married or just got matched. I want to hack the code to prepare for my romance.
Among the sea of insights I recorded on my spreadsheet, here are 3 golden keys for a strong and stable partnership.
1. Understand first, then communicate
Conflict is inevitable. It is a chance to learn about each other and solve problems together. Mastering conflict fosters a strong partnership. Love is not only about kisses and hugs but also real and raw conversation.
When you feel an emotion, understand why. Share with your partner. Don't assume he/ she knows about it. They are not your mind reader. Talk it out so both are on the same page. It is not about avoiding conflict, but acknowledging the differences and making a consensus.
Avoid taking things for granted as “you are close”. Love and respect should always be there regardless of how long you met. Just because your partner is your closest one doesn’t mean he/she should tolerate your shortcomings. Be responsible for your emotions and behaviours, not letting them affect others.
When you are in a bad mood, tell your loved ones you are not in a good state. You can ask for spaces or their ears to listen.
Alternatively, when your partner is in chaos, understand where they come from. Tell them what you see and feel, and ask what support they need. If their emotions swing around, leave them spaces and return later to check in. Beware how their emotions affect you negatively sometimes. Stay distant at first so you remain patient and compassionate for them. Set boundaries, adjust yourself and be supportive.
This may sound easier to say than to do. But why not give it a try?
When you love, you carry a big heart.❤️
2. Be interdependent
Your partner is your necklace. You don't need them every day, but they are always there for you. You will clean and store the necklaces delicately as you treasure them.
You are pretty or handsome on your own, and you look better with the necklace.
When you are in love, you learn to be independent and dependent. Give care to romance and other aspects of life. Strike a balance by setting daily themes to ensure you spare adequate time and effort for important things. For example,
Sun: Self-care & Declutter
Mon: Personal Growth/ Health
Tue: Dating
Wed: Kids
Thu: Hobbies/ Community
Fri: Friends
Sat: Family
The theme helps you identify the focus of the day. By planning that, you spare time and energy for things that matter to you. A healthy balance makes you a better person, lover and parent. Different puzzles foster synergy. For example, dating nights build bonds with your lover to overcome parenting challenges. Maintaining good health boosts your productivity at work. Having a good community fuels you with good energy to overcome challenges in your personal lives.
When you and your partner practise together, both stay charismatic, find each other attractive and grow together. In romance, neither should you lose yourself nor neglect your lovers with other “priorities”.
When you love, you love in a healthy balance.⚖️
3. Complain less, contribute more
It takes two to tango. Instead of complaining, think about how you contribute to a better partnership. There is never a “perfect choice” in love. Once you’ve decided to be with someone, you accept his/ her good and bad. You commit to building the relationship. It is easy to say, “We are not a match. Let’s break up.” And it takes courage to be responsible for your choice and sort it out. Unless your romance affects your mental health negatively, be patient, kind and respectful all the time.
Not much sex? Instill playful ideas to stir up the vibe. Tough long distance? Commit time for voice calls to build intimacy through the air. Bother by your partner’s behaviours? Express your concern calmly, give suggestions and walk the talk.
When you love, you dance and build together.💃
In a nutshell, to build a strong and stable relationship:
Understand first, then communicate: Listen actively and discuss transparently.
Be interdependent: Keep your identities while collaborating with your partner.
Complain less, contribute more: Make your romance better once you’ve chosen it.
Love is built, not found.
Love is a beautiful and challenging journey. You get butterflies, tears and laughter.
It is an experience with different flavours.
It is an experience that enriches your life.
It is an experience that is worth tasting.
For singles, stay brave, try out and have fun; for pairs, hold hands with your partner despite conflicts.
Love more, dear ❤️
A question for you:
(For single) What is one thing you can do today to build your romance?
(For couples) What is one thing you can do today to spark joy with your partner?
Share with me by replying to this email😉
The Fit Rich is a community of proactive and growth minds. 1 monthly topic & 1 weekly insight - we share short and fresh takeaways to think fit & live rich with you.
Jars of hearts,
Ruby